tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5132674095286496900.post6314933729493031126..comments2023-08-02T14:00:05.513+01:00Comments on boyish: Dear Cis FriendsOlliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15812865772654663502noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5132674095286496900.post-75962269023840036662012-03-10T19:41:14.633+00:002012-03-10T19:41:14.633+00:00Hiya Daisy, thanks for reading!
Aah I know, I'...Hiya Daisy, thanks for reading!<br /><br />Aah I know, I'm being pretty demanding with this, and I *do* appreciate the impulse to apologise in advance. It comes from a good place, I know. I think it's the 'major change' aspect of it that freaks people out - many of them know how they *ought* to respond and are scared of not living up to that, and hurting my feelings. So I get mad and write an angry blog post about them :-pOlliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15812865772654663502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5132674095286496900.post-87366001837132052792012-03-10T18:49:01.695+00:002012-03-10T18:49:01.695+00:00I noticed when my friend used a totally different ...I noticed when my friend used a totally different name, it was easier. I kept "messing up" and I didn't mean to, I was SO embarrassed! Example (not the real example): If someone is already "Lee" and doesn't change their name when they transition, this may not *signal* the gender change to the outsider/cis-person. However, when she decided to go to a totally different name like "Susannah"--well, that signified (to me) a major change and I could easily do that. (I dunno why, maybe other people are the reverse?) But I have known lots of political folks who have decided they are going to call themselves "Fidel" or "Sedition" or something (LOL--really) and bikers who wanted to be "Ace" or "Shark" and I have never had any trouble with that kind of thing. <br /><br />I have had a more difficult time with another of my friends, not sure why, possibly because we met in a female-gender-specific place and now he is not that gender, but I keep defaulting (in my head). Perhaps I have just known more trans women than trans men; he is my first! <br /><br />These things take practice, especially if you are over 50, as I am. Trans people have of course been around forever (Pope Joan, yo!) but not where the rest of us have been part of the process. As Andrea Dworkin said, the community must also take responsibility for the transition. <br /><br />My very best to you! (kiss)Daisy Deadheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17993200276152025235noreply@blogger.com